o __ _ |) _ ,_ / , / () / \_/|/| |/) |/ / | / \_ | /\_/ | |_/| \/|_/ |/ \/ \___/ :::::::. :::. :::::::-. ;;;'';;' ;;`;; ;;, `';, [[[__[[\. ,[[ '[[, `[[ [[ $$""""Y$$c$$$cc$$$c $$, $$ _88o,,od8P 888 888,888_,o8P' ""YUMMMP" YMM ""` MMMMP"` .-:::::'... ::::::::::.. ;;;'''' ;; ;;;;;;;``;;;; [[[,,==[[' [[[ [[[,/[[[' `$$$"``$$ $$$ $$$$$$c 888 88 .d888 888b "88bo, "MM, "YmmMMMM"" MMMM "W" :::::::-. :::. .-:. ::-. ;;, `';, ;;`;; ';;. ;;;;' `[[ [[ ,[[ '[[, '[[,[[[' $$, $$c$$$cc$$$c c$$" 888_,o8P' 888 888,,8P"` MMMMP"` YMM ""`mM" ~ Conker's Bad Fur Day™ ~ A Savage Journey to the Heart of the Vulgarian Dream for the Nintendo 64 FAQ/Walkthrough by bananagirl bananasquid@msn.com v3.2 - 07/11/02 Disclaimer! ``````````` This guide is ©2001 bananagirl. All information contained within is protected by copyright law. This guide, like the game it's written for, is not intended for anyone under the age of 17. Bah, who am I kidding? Regardless, unless you're into potty humor and stuff like that, stay away from the game and this guide. Just a friendly warning. =============================================================================== .:*~*:. < Table of Contents > .:*~*:. =============================================================================== 1. Introduction 2. Preliminary FAQ o Guide Questions o Game Questions (I) 3. General Information o Story o Characters > Conker > Berri > Birdy > The Fabled Panther King > The Beast of Poo Mountain > The Evil Tediz > The Grim Reaper (A.K.A. Gregg) > Franky the Pitchfork o Getting Started o Basics > Saved Game Slots > Options > Chapters > Context Zones > Cash > Dying > Living > Breathing o Controls o Special Moves > Climbing > Swimming > Jumping > Crawling o Weapons & Vehicles > Bouncin' Pitchforks > Jet Board > Raptor Riding > Turret Gun > Shot Gun > Batula > Machine Gun > The Tank (I) 4. Walkthrough o Hungover > Scaredy Birdy > Panhandled > Gargoyle o Windy > Mrs. Bee o Barn Boys > Marvin > Mad Pitchfork > Sunny Days > Barry + Co > Buff You > Haybot Wars > Frying Tonight > Slam Dunk o Windy Again > Poo Cabin > Pruned > Yee Haa! > Sewage Sucks (I) 5. Multiplayer Games (I) 6. Codes (I) 7. Secrets (I) 8. FAQ 9. Coming Soon 10. Revision History 11. Copyright & Contact Info 12. Credits/Thanks (I) = Incomplete =============================================================================== .:*~*:. < 1. Introduction > .:*~*:. =============================================================================== Hiya, and welcome to my Conker's BFD guide. As I write this, I'm working on version 4.0. By the standard numbering system, it should really be something more like 2.0, but the standard numbering system doesn't matter here. Anyway, version 3.0 first saw the light of the internet just over a year ago, and the guide hasn't been updated since that fateful day. I was given the opportunity to pass my guide along to somebody else, but the game's so much fun that I decided not to. Sorry. You're stuck with me. That probably means I'll toss in a chapter or two now, then you won't see another update for a year. But there are plenty of other complete guides all over the internet, so fear not. All is not lost. Moving on... Enjoy the guide. It'll be hard, but I have great confidence in your abilities. If you see something wrong, be it typo, factual error, or something else entirely, feel free to let me know via email. But if you want to point out things like 'lotsa' and 'wanna' and stuff like that, bugger off. Someone once emailed me saying lotsa was two words (lot's [sic] and of). After having a little chuckle at the grammatical error in his correction, I deleted it. I know lotsa is two words (lots and of). I'm not quite as stupid as you like to think. - Bananagirl =============================================================================== .:*~*:. < 2. Preliminary FAQ > .:*~*:. =============================================================================== Guide Questions ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Can I use this FAQ on my site? ````````````````````````````````` Sure. Let me know if you do, though. Just email me (bananasquid@msn.com) and say something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm using your Conker FAQ on my site, [insert address here]. Just letting you know. Bye." Also, make sure you credit me wherever you put it. Otherwise, people might think you did it, and we wouldn't want that, would we? Q. Can I send something to help you out? ```````````````````````````````````````` I used to be pretty mean about stuff like this, but if you want to send me something, I'm open for it now. Just don't send me any partial walkthroughs and expect me to put them in here word-for-word. I'll be checking to make sure anything you send me is factual information before I slap it in here, so whatever ends up here will come from that experience. I'll credit you, though. Look for your name and email address at the top of whatever you submit, and also in the Credits/Thanks section. Q. Where/How can I find/do _____? ````````````````````````````````` Well, if I know, it's in here. If I don't, you'll have to look elsewhere. Try checking somebody else's guide at http://www.gamefaqs.com. I've always had a high opinion of the work of CyricZ and Dallas, so you should check their guides first. Q. Can I republish some of the information you've got here? ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Drop me an email about this one. Tell me which information, where you're putting it, and why you want to do it. If I decide to let you do it, give me full credit. Q. Where the heck did you put _____? ```````````````````````````````````` If it's in here, you can probably find it by using the Find tool (Ctrl+F for Windows; no idea what it is for Macs). Just type in a simple phrase, such as 'Pruned' or 'dung beetle' and do the whole find/find next thing until you find something relevant. Q. How much for the blonde with the whip? ````````````````````````````````````````` $100 an hour, in advance. No freebies. Not even for your birthday. Believe me, she's worth every penny of it... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game Questions ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why does Conker's BFD have an ESRB rating of M? `````````````````````````````````````````````````` Lotsa reasons. Profanity, sex jokes, blood, gore... The list goes on. Let's just say it's not something you want to show to a six year old. I'm not quite sure I agree with the whole thing about having to be 17 in order to purchase it, but I suppose some parents just don't want their kids to be exposed to this sort of thing. And yet they still send these kids to public school... Q. But it's a cute little squirrel! ``````````````````````````````````` It's immature potty humor. Y'know all those lame movies like 'Freddy Got Fingered' and 'American Pie' that your parents probably wouldn't like? It's like those, only not as stupid. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing, but it's still some strong stuff. Do you really want your innocent first-grader to know about fellatio at such a tender age? Q. What happened to Twelve Tails? That looked cute! ``````````````````````````````````````````````````` Change of plot. Potty humor is more fun than another Banjo-Kazooie clone, anyway. And we all know that that's the way it would turn out... =============================================================================== .:*~*:. < 3. General Information > .:*~*:. =============================================================================== Story ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Conker had mentally left the conversation. His mind wandered to thoughts of his girlfriend Berri and why she had such a problem with him having fun without her. As he sat contemplating giving her a call, he moved uncomfortably in his chair. His bladder ache had now reached the point where it couldn't be ignored. "Conker!" Came the cry from the group seated around the table, making Conker jump. "It's your turn." "Okay, okay. But first I've got to call Berri to let her know I'll be late." He stood unsteadily, then just before staggering off, decided that maybe the toilet was a more pressing issue. The evening wore on, and the beer kept flowing. One round became another, and then another, until Conker reached that awful moment of realization: "Guys, guys. I think I've had too much." He paused for a moment, nearly retching then and there. "I gotta go..." At the next table a couple of pretty little chipmunks sniggered and whispered something to each other as Conker tottered slightly, then nearly lost his balance completely. "I don't think he can hold his drink," he overhead the nearest one say. "No, indeed," her sly-looking friend replied. Conker toyed with the idea of vomiting on the both of them but decided that perhaps it wasn't such a good idea with their boyfriends sitting opposite. For some reason, they were dressed in combat fatigues and engaged in a most heated debate... "The war! The evil Teddy Bears have overrun the Grey Squirrels' homeland! We signed up this morning, and you should do the same, Mr. Red Squirrel." At this point, several grey squirrels around the alehouse leveled accusing accusing gazes at Conker. "If you have any sense of decency and honor, that is." "I think you just hit the nail on the head," Conker replied as he attempted to stand once more. "I'm definitely going now. Good-bye!" On the way out, two of his old school chums grabbed him by the arm, shouting, "One more for the road, Conker?" And before he knew it... "Slammers? Oh no, not slammers!" They were lined up in frong of him--eight in total. Oh well, tomorrow was another day... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Characters ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Conker `````` A feisty little red squirrel with some snazzy shoes, Conker is your main character hereabouts. He likes to pee on things. Unfortunately, there are no snow levels in the game. If there were, though, his bladder certainly holds enough to write your name. Berri ````` Conker's grey squirrel girlfriend reminds me of Jessica Rabbit from Roger Rabbit. Anyone else? No? Oh well. She exercises a lot. She wears pink. 'Nuff said for now. No need to reveal any more of the plot line. Birdy ````` Beardy's a great guy. He has a nice sign that says "Feck Off Birds" and he likes to drink. Can't beat it, eh? He pops up every now and then to tell you what to do. He might charge a small fee every now and then, but you'll get it back... The Fabled Panther King ``````````````````````` Hm... It's a big spooky panther guy that rules over the land. He's a nice widdle kitty, but his desire to drink milk without it spilling everywhere leads him to do mean things, like antagonize Conker and terrorize the weasel population. The Beast of Poo Mountain ````````````````````````` The Beast is a giant, corn-eating Poo Monster. Ignore the Dogma method of dealing with these things; the only thing that will stop him is toilet paper. Fortunately, Conker just so happens to have an unlimited supply of the stuff. The Evil Tediz `````````````` Eek! Killer teddy bears! Run for your life! These guys are the henchmen of the Evil Panther King's top scientist. They're out to get you. These are fun to kill, because instead of the usual blood that spills everywhere, they lose stuffing. The Grim Reaper (A.K.A. Gregg) `````````````````````````````` Someone's not important enough for the manual, apparently... Gregg tells you about Tails and stuff. There's really not much to say about him, so just laugh at him. You'll only see him a few times in the game. You mostly just get the occasional glimpse of his bony little hand when you kick the bucket. Franky the Pitchfork ```````````````````` Another one of those neglected fellows. Franky's a living, hopping pitchfork. If Conker jumps on him, he can bounce around, too. This gets to be very useful during certain stages in the game. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Getting Started ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Right. I shouldn't have to do this, but there are probably a few people out there that haven't a clue what they're doing. So here goes. The first thing you'll need to do is set up your TV. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Riiiiiight. So set up your TV according to your instruction manual, take the fork out of your electrical socket (if there isn't one in there, don't worry--that's perfectly alright), and plug it in. Now, set up your Nintendo 64, if you haven't already. Use the instruction manual included with your system to do this. It's basically just plugging things into the hole with the same shape and/or color. When that's done, take the cartridge out of it's box. You can handle that, I think. When you've done that, insert said cartridge, open side down and picture side forward, into the Nintendo 64 cartridge slot. Yeah, that's the thing that's covered by grey flaps. Now, make sure your controller is plugged in, and your Rumble Pak, or cheap third party Rumble Pak wannabe, is popped into the back, with whatever batteries it requires. You don't really need one of these, but it adds a nice touch to the game. When your controller is ready, set it down somewhere, or hold it. Either way, make sure the Control Stick (it's the round thing on a stick in the middle that moves when you push on it) isn't tilted at all. If your controller is 5 years old, like mine, and has taken a heavy beating from Diddy Kong Racing or other such games, like mine, you might have to hold it in place, as such controllers have a tendency to lean independently. When that's taken care of, slowly reach over, and push the Power button (that's the one on the left) on your Nintendo 64 into the "on" position. Now, you're ready to play. When the Title Screen shows up (it says "Conker's Bad Fur Day" on it in big letters, and it has a snazzy cool image, and it tells you to press Start. It's not hard to identify), after you've watched the little intro thing, or maybe if you pressed Start during it, press the Start button. That would be the little round red button in the middle of your controller (above the Control Stick). Before you can actually play, you'll need to make a file to save your game in, so let's move on to the basics of that. Choose one of the three files available, and press the A button. It's blue. It has the letter 'A' on it. Voila. Now you're playing. Congratulations. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Basics ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Saved Game Slots ```````````````` Nobody says it better than Rare, but I'll give it a shot. Basically, when you start a new game with one of the available slots, you can continue at the spot you left off at next time you want to play. Options ``````` Sound: Use Mono if you have a mono TV, Stereo if you have a stereo TV, and Dolby if you have it. Simple as that. I use stereo. Anyone out there know anything about Dolby? I don't. Cheats: Input one of the codes, or a nasty word, or something else entirely. A correct code will get you the approval of the Fire Dragon, an incorrect one a shake of the head. I'll leave it up to you to find out what he does if you say something that made your mother feed you Ivory soap. Chapters ```````` Once you do something, you can redo it over and over again in the chapters section. Which means you don't have to start new games every time you wanna replay a level. Very convenient. Context Zones ````````````` Standing on one of those newfangled platform things embossed with a giant B will net Conker some new abilities. Temporarily, anyway. If you stand on an active pad, a lightbulb will pop up over Conker's head and you'll hear a ting! sound. This also happens sometimes when he's not on a pad. It all depends on the situation, really. If you press B upon hearing the ting! or seeing the lightbulb, Conker will pull something out or be able to do something new. The first time you stand on a certain kind of pad, you'll be given instructions from a manual Birdy sells. The rest of the time, you're on your own. You can always review the manual by pressing L and B together, though. Cash ```` Throughout the game, Conker will pick up bundles of money. Sometimes it's used to pay off somebody, but Conker almost always gets it back fairly soon. There's not really very much to do with it, other than bribery and the occasional prostitute. Well, maybe just bribery... Dying ````` It's relatively easy to die in Conker's BFD. If you run out of chocolate or air, or fall from somewhere really high off the ground, you're pushing up daisies. The first time Conker dies, you'll be taken to see Gregg. He'll explain the tail thing. But if you're out of tails and you die, it's Game Over for Conker. No big deal. Just go back to your saved game. You'll start right where you left off. Living `````` Getting hit will cause Conker to lose a bar of chocolate. You've got six of 'em. If you want to stay alive, you'll want to replenish your health somehow. There are pieces of Anti-Gravity Chocolate floating all over the world. Go pick one up, and you'll keep breathing. Breathing ````````` For the first few areas of the game, Conker will be using water wings when he swims. Eventually, he'll be able to take some Confidence Pills and he'll ditch the wings. Now that nothing's holding him above the water, you can make him dive by pressing the B button. While underwater, a picture of Conker's face acts as an air gauge. When he runs out of air, no more Conker. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controls ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- L Button...............Skip cut scene R Button..................Look Around Start Button......Bring up Pause Menu D-Pad......................No funtion Control Stick..............Move/Crawl C-Left..................Rotate Camera C-Right.................Rotate Camera C-Up...............Change Camera Zoom C-Down.................Realign Camera B Button.......................Attack A Button.........................Jump Z Button.................Crouch/Crawl - Skip cut scene only works after you've viewed a scene once. - Look Around to see your surroundings. - The Pause Menu lets you quit if you want to - No function does nothing. Strange, eh? - Moving involves running, walking, or tiptoeing, dependend upon the pressure placed on the Control Stick - Rotate Camera pretty much moves the camera back and forth. - Change Camera Zoom moves the camera closer or farther away from Conker - Realign Camera puts the camera behind Conker's head. Hold it to keep it there. - Attack uses Conker's frying pan or whatever. - Jumping heights vary with combinations of buttons and stuff. Crouch first to do a high jump. - Crouching prepares for a high jump; crawling (Z and Control stick) is a way to creep along slowly and silently and stuff. It also gives you a chance to get in touch with your inner child. - You can pick things up by running over them. This changes Conker's attack to whatever his current weapon happens to support. If it's not a weapon, he'll throw it instead. - When he's carrying something, Conker can't jump. He's just not strong enough to handle that sort of thing. He'll also move a bit slower as a result of the whole weight issue. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Special Moves ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Climbing ```````` You're a squirrel. Squirrels climb trees. They do this by jumping onto them and going up or down. Same general concept here, except with ropes and ladders. Swimming ```````` I'm not sure swimming is the most popular sport in the drunken rodent subculture, but some things just can't be avoided. When in water, Conker will paddle around. You can move him with the control stick. Pressing B will cause him to dive. While underwater, hold B and he'll move. Up on the control stick makes Conker go down and down makes him go up. Steering remains constant. Staying underwater too long makes Conker turn funny colors, so try to avoid it. Jumping ``````` Your basic jump is performed with the A button, but you can press A again to do a Helicoptery Tail Thing. It makes him hover a little bit, which is always useful when crossing gaps and other such things. You can also perform a higher jump by pressing Z then A. Crawling ```````` Just like in every other N64 platform game ever made, you can crawl by holding Z and moving the control stick. It's slow, but I guess that has its advantages at times. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Weapons & Vehicles ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bouncin' Pitchforks ``````````````````` If you hop on Franky, he'll bounce around. While aboard, press A to jump and B to perform a stabbing attack of sorts. Use the control stick to move Franky around. He moves pretty much the same as Conker. Bull Riding ``````````` While on the bull, use the control stick to steer. B charges, A hops on and off. You'll have to hold the bull still somehow before you can get on. Don't miss your target when you charge, or you'll get tossed. Jet Board ````````` Surf the lava, d00d!11! A to jump, B to hit your opponents with a frying pan. Control stick for steering, as usual. Raptor Riding ````````````` Straddle the vicious beast and use the control stick to make Fangy move. A makes him jump, B makes him bite or headbutt. If he has someone in his mouth, B makes him swallow. Z for a headbutt. Turret Gun `````````` Eat lead, mutha-buzzer! Control stick moves the control stick. A button gets in and out. B reloads. C buttons zoom. Z button fires the gun. Shot Gun ```````` We's goin' zombie huntin'. B takes the gun out or puts it away. C strafes or makes Conker step forward or back. R enters aiming mode. Z fires, or if held in aiming mode, pops out a laser sight. The gun is fired when Z is released. Batula `````` As a bat, use the control stick to move around. Up dives, down rises. Speed changes with these. A makes you move backwards, or makes you take off when on the ground, as does B, which makes you move forwards in the air. Z makes you poop. Machine Gun ``````````` Like the Shot Gun, but also with A to reload. And it fires repeatedly instead of just one blast. And there's no laser sight. The Tank ```````` Control stick turns the tank left or right or moves it forward or backwards. A gets you out of it. C buttons rotate the turret or zoom the camera while in aiming mode, which is R again. Z fires. =============================================================================== .:*~*:. < 4. Walkthrough > .:*~*:. =============================================================================== The game opens on Conker, sitting on a throne. A Clockwork Orange comes to mind... at least it did for CyricZ. Having never had anything to do with A Clockwork Orange, book or movie, I'll just take his word for it and hope he's right. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hungover ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your tutorial area... Why does Rare put these in every game? I dunno about you, but I prefer the Super Mario approach to it, in which you have all your moves at the beginning. Oh well. If it helps you learn the basics, so be it. Scaredy Birdy ````````````` When you gain control of Conker, the first thing you'll want to do is take a trip around the fence and into the enclosure. So, stumble on over to the other side of the fence and into the enclosure. There, you'll meet Birdy. After talking to him, stand on the circular thing with a B on it and he'll talk to you again. Do as he says and press B. That doesn't do diddlysquat for you, so head back out (he opens a shortcut for you, which cuts off about 5 minutes of travel time) and try that on the Context Zone out there to get rid of that hangover. Pan Handled ``````````` When that's all done and over with, swim across the river and onto the green island-like thingy right before the waterfall. Don't worry about falling off. If you do, there's a tunnel at the end that takes you right back up to the top. Once you're on the island, move around a bit, and Conker will remember a few moves. Namely, the Helicoptery Tail Thingy and the High Jump. Now you can take your fuzzy tail up that ramp-type thing or whatever (use the Helicoptery Tail Thingy to cross the gaps), and when you get to the top, you'll find a bigass gargoyle sitting in the middle of the bridge that leads to your path home. Well, that could present a problem. Especially if you get too close. So back off a bit, turn around, and look to the right. See that switch thing? Jump to it. You might have to do a high jump. Conker will grab it and pull it. A door will open down below. Jump back down the ramp-type thing, and go into that open door. The door will slam and lock behind you, so run around a little bit, and Conker will suddenly remember that he was a frying pan warrior. Well, I suppose it's better than a cupcake... Anyway, chase after that key, and whack it to knock it out. Go walk on top of the silly thing to grab it, and head over to the door to get out. Gargoyle ```````` I don't know why Conker couldn't just remember the frying pan when he had to whack the gargoyle, but I guess he's just gotta deal with certain things first. Certain things like the dancing keys. Anyway, as you've probably guessed, you've gotta walk up to the big guy and smack him upside the head with your pan. After a nice big splash, it's bye-bye gargoyle, hello giant boulder blocking your path. Grr. You just can't seem to win here. The boulder's a bit easier to get rid of than the gargoyle, so just do a High Jump/Helicoptery Tail Thing onto it, and a Helicoptery Tail Thingy over to the right onto the platform. The obvious solution here is to hit the B Button, as it's a B Button Pad. Use the obvious solution. It's usually the best one, in cases such as this. Boom. Path cleared. Go on in. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Windy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Windy introduces you to life, death, and the birds and the bees. Well, the bees, at least. Whee. Mrs. Bee ```````` Go down the path, collecting chocolate. When you've got a full life bar (careful--don't fall!), take a right at the sign (Nice), and you'll run into a weeping female bee. Conker will talk to her, and she'll tell him about her problem. Those damn dirty wasps took her hive. Alright, easily remedied. Go back to the sign and take the path to Nasty. Go up the hill, avoiding the barbed wire fence (you don't even need to go anywhere near it) and the honey or whatever on the other side of the path from the aforementioned fence. At the top of the hill, you'll find the Wasps' nest. You're not here to fight them, or explore the nest, so just grab the hive, which is sitting outside in plain sight, and beat it on back to the Queen. Run down the hill, around the honey patch, and down the path to Nice. Stay on the path. Do not fall in the water. Do not crash into the wall. Do not pass Go. Wasps hurt. If you do lose the give, go back up to the hill and into the center, ignoring the circling wasps. Then take off with the hive again. When you reach the bee, Conker will chuck the hive back onto its stand, showing remarkable aim. The Queen will go inside and break out the machine guns, decimate the wasps, and reward Conker. Eat lead, mother buzzers. You're up $100 now. Well on your way to being a millionaire. You'll see a few dung beetles conversing amongst themselves, then it's up the hill for you. Stand on the Context Zone, and Birdy will show up. Context Zone. Ten dolla. Urry up and buyee! Birdy will sell you a manual for $10, then hop off. The money will escape and return to Conker, so you just got a free manual. Now, time to shoot down these dung beetles. Using whatever knowledge of trajectories and gravity you might have, aim that slingshot for all you're worth. It takes two shots to knock out a dung beetle. After the first hit, the beetle's out for blood, and it's a moving target. Just sling off another shot right away, and it won't have time to move out of the line of fire. When you've taken out all four of 'em, head on up to the top of the hill. You'll encounter a fork in the road. The left path smells a bit pooey. You can go that way, but at this point, I wouldn't recommend it. Take the right path. instead. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Barn Boys ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Murky waters, barnyards, and dancin' pitchforks. It looks to be a fairly small area, but within the barn lurks an evil greater than anything you've encountered yet. Marvin `````` Trudge on in and cross the river. Check out the right side of the level to find a few hunks of metal and a gaseous mouse. If you're a sick bastard, you can make Conker puke by putting him in front of the mouse when it burps. Other than that, just go stand in front of the big metal blocks to initiate a conversation. As it turns out, the mouse is scaring the shiznicks outta the bigger of the two blocks, so it's your task to get rid of Marvin so you can get that fat-ass bitch offa Jack's back. So go left from the entrance. Take the upper path, and you'll find s'more big metal things. Wait until they're facing you, then run right up against them (while they're on the ground) and press forward on your control stick, so that you're running forward as soon as they jump. If done properly, Conker won't get squashed. Contrary to popular belief, that is a good thing. When you've successfully evaded the second metal thingy, you'll see a herd of cheese. You can jump in and knock a few out with your frying pan, but you can't jump while carrying anything, and you'll need to pick up some cheese before you leave this god-forsaken corral, so stand in front of the metal thing that's sitting outside the pen before going in. It's Burt, of course. He'll open the gate for you so you can get out once you've got your mitts on a piece of cheese. See those blocks behind the enclosure? The nice little layers of stone and stuff? Hop onto the smallest one, and from there onto the one beside it. Do a high jump and hover over the shorter one. A lightbulb will show up. Hit B. Look around. Getting that tail will net 10 extra lives for you. Moving on, go into the pen and stalk your mighty prey, kick its ass with your frying pan, and tote it back to the mouse. Make sure you don't get hit by a metal block (they squash the cheese), and when you reach the mouse, Conker will throw the cheese to him. Lather. Rinse. Repeat twice. When you've given the mouse 3 hunks of cheese, he'll explode. A pretty nasty sight. But at least you solved Jack's problem... Mad Pitchfork ````````````` Hop up onto Jack's back, and from there onto the 'fat-ass bitch.' Do a High Jump onto the pipe on the wall of the barn, then another one onto the other pipe, and do a Helicoptery Tail Thing onto the roof. Run up the roof and jump onto the thingy on top of it. Hit the switch. A door will open up. Run across and grab that cash. If you took the pooey path earlier, Conker will take out his watch and note that it's 10 o' clock. If you didn't, nada. But that doesn't matter now. You're in the middle of a whole other world right now. Jump off the barn, aiming for the wooden platform that you can see if you stand near the edge and look around. If you miss the platform, you'll either be back on the ground with Jack, or you'll be a little puddle of blood, heart, and eyeball. If not, go down the wooden ramp to the left (if you're facing away from the barn), around the pathway, and through the open door. As Conker steps in, all the bouncing haystacks will turn around and look at him. After a quick little conversation with them, you'll get to see another nice little chat session between a paint pot, a paint brush, and a pitchfork. Then it's back to controlling Conker. Head over to the right side of the barn and up the stairs. If you walk over to Franky and friends, you'll be treated to a conversation that reminds me very strongly of my neighbors. When it's over, Franky will start chasing you. Run over to the bouncing haystacks, and when Franky attacks, stand behind one of them. This will cause him to spear the haystack instead of you, sending hay everywhere and keeping Conker in one piece. The eyeballs from the hay will end up on the ground. You can squish them, or you can just leave them there. If you do (leave them there, that is), they'll watch you. When all the haystacks have been demolished, Franky will go back to his buddies, who will diss his ass-kicking, and cause him to commit suicide. Or at least try to. But he has no neck, so I guess that won't really work. Go back to the entrance, which is still locked, and pull the lever on the wall across from it. The King Bee will fall out the window, and the door will mysteriously lose its bar. Go back outside. Sunny Days `````````` As soon as you step out, the King Bee will try to bum some cash offa Conker. Conker won't give a rat's ass until he mentions the 'big-breasted babe.' Then it's off to help him pollinate her... Head on over to the flower (cross the platform and go down the ramp along the wall), and talk to her. Then get your big, long, hairy tail back up to the wooden platform by the barn. When you get there, you'll be swarmed by a mob of bees. Fortunately for Conker, they're pacifists. All they do is tickle people. Hm... Go back to the sunflower with bees in tow. They'll start tickling her. But they're not enough. You'll have to find the other 4 swarms. Go to the entrance of the level and jump around a bit. When you get that swarm, go back to the cheese enclosure area and hop around the blocks. There's a swarm along the back wall. Now head over to Jack and his bitch and hop up onto the roof. Get the swarm there, then climb onto the roof beside it, do a high jump to reach the peak, and climb up the ladder. Make your way around the edge of the pool (don't fall in--if you do, you'll lose your bees) and grab the swarm there, then head back down. Actually, you can get these in whatever order you choose, but this one takes you around the level in what I think is the easiest and fastest way. Take your swarms back to the sunflower, and enjoy the show. When that's over, take her up on the offer of a bounce and hop on her stigmas. You'll need a High Jump to get there. Just before you hit 'em, press A, and squirrel boy will be bounced higher, leaving you free to do a Helicoptery Tail Thing into that alcove, netting you some easy cash. Barry + Co `````````` Go back to the wooden platform by the barn and wait for the bouncing crate to stop. High Jump onto it, and from there onto the platform that the King Bee fell from. Go into the barn. After the bats notice you, you'll have to make your way across the beams, avoiding attacking bats. You can do the Helicoptery Tail Thing, or you can walk. It's more fun to walk, but it's easier to hover. Your call. If you walk, a lightbulb will show up. When the bat squeaks, hit B, and Conker will whip out a flamethrower and torch the sucka. If you hover, you'll see the lightbulb, but there's not much you can do about it if you're hanging in mid-air. If you fall, you'll have to go through the entire thing again. Of course, you could always take the fun AND easy way out and crisp the bats, then jump. Or you could just throw knives at 'em when you've gotten the entire way across. Again, your call. Anyway, when you've successfully navigated the bat-ridden rafters, you'll end up on a Context Zone. Hit B to whip out some throwing knives. If you didn't turn them into crispy fritters, you can use the bats for target practice, but your main goal here is to shoot down Franky, so aim for the rope above his head. Eyeballs on a stick. Whatever. Buff You ```````` When you've got him down, it's time to get down yourself. Jump off. After a short conversation, hop on board the farm utensil for some good ol' fashioned pitchfork ridin'. Redneck sport, that. My neighbors do it. Bounce on over to the big haystack guy and try to charge him. If he smacks you, get the chocolate outta the corners before remounting your not-quite-noble steed. When you've charged him twice, he'll whip out an evil-looking eye. Eek. Terminator! Get him again, and he'll crash through the floor, bringing you down with him. Haybot Wars ``````````` After a quick chat with Franky, Conker will duck to avoid a Suzie 9mm. Since he hurt his leg from the fall, Conker will be a bit slow on the ground, so hop on board your trusty pal Franky. Haybot attacks with those Suzie 9mm missiles and his iron fists. Run over to the edge of the room and hide behind one of the big pipes, and metal boy will shoot it with a Suzie, causing water to squirt out. This ends the missile shooting for a bit, so hop out and stand in the water stream to lure old Sparky over to it. When he's hit with the water, Haybot will start sparking and spinning. Bounce over to him. See that button that says "Do Not Push" on his back? When you're close to it, the lightbulb will show up. Press B. Zap. There goes his arm. Now he throws you to attack instead of hitting you. Yowch. Do that with the other 2 pipes, and he'll blow the other arm (now he steps on you), then boom. He's gone. With Haybot out of the way, Franky's lying in pieces, although Conker's leg seems to be better... Frying Tonight `````````````` Now you have more important matters to take care of, such as getting the hell outta there before the water reaches those sparking wires and fries up some squirrel. Strap on your water wings. Swim your way over to the pipe with Exit signs on either side of it and climb the ladder. At the top, there's a Context Zone, and when you hit B, Conker will whip out his knives again. Conker will have to use the knives to cut down the hanging wires. There are three here. The first two are easy to see; the third is partially submerged and harder to see. Hit them (aim for the part where they're attached to the pipe) before the next pipe starts spurting water, or Conker will be zapped. A lot. When those three are gone, swim across the room and climb up the ladder. High Jump onto the platform and you'll have 3 more wires to take out, one each on your left and right, and another one in the center of the room. When those are gone, another pipe will burst and you'll be carried by the rising water to the top of the room. Swim across the room and jump onto the platform, and leave. Once out, you'll end up in a room with a little rodent guy with a stone tablet. Stand on his tablet, and he'll launch you up into the rafters. Use your Helicoptery Tail Thing to fly over to the alcove, snatch the money, and High Jump out the window. Slam Dunk ````````` Head to the right and climb the ladder. Avoiding the wasps, make your way to the top. When you reach a wasp, stop and wait for it to pass a ladder, then scurry up the rungs while it finishes its pass and turns around. At the top, you'll find a diving board-type thing and a few pieces of chocolate. Jump towards the chocolate in mid-air, and the lightbulb will show up. Hit B. Conker will turn into an anvil and crash down into the bottom of the bucket, opening a grating. Whee. Climb out. Make your way down to the ground, and go into the water. If you swim towards the sunflower, you'll see the open grating. Go in, and you can grab a Tail and some cash. Very nice. Time to head back out to Windy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Windy Again ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back outside, the sun is shining, the bees are buzzing, and the smell of poo is in the air. You can pick up a wad of cash before you get started here by going over to the wasp next. There are 4 openings, as you can see. One is guarded by a vicious beast and two are out of your range. Head for the only one you can get to. It's on the left. You'll come out on the ledge on the right, and from there's it's a high jump and a spin to the next one up. You'll emerge behind a wad of cash. When you're done, don your gas mask and take the brown path you passed on your way to Barn Boys. Poo Cabin ````````` The dung beetle says you need to make the cows poo if you want a ball, so head to the left and stand on the trapdoor to make Conker head down. Run to the end of the hallway and make a flying helicopter leap onto the rope you see there. Climb that one, then jump to the one in front of it. When you reach the top of this one, make a leap of faith to the other rope hanging from the same beam, then climb down (or up) that one until you can see the source of the poofall. Jump into the hole. Run up the ramp and out into the light. Pruned `````` In the cowpen, you'll come face-to-face with a bull. He doesn't like red. Go figure. Conker's orange, but just go along with it and pretend he's red, 'cause he *is* a red squirrel, after all. Head around to the side of the entrance, and you should encounter a ramp with falling pooballs. Wait for a gap, then jump up onto the ramp. If you stay close to the wall, the passing pooballs should miss you, so you're relatively safe. Once you reach the top, hop onto those last few platforms and do a high jump onto the keg. At the end of it is a giant tap, so run around in circles in the direction of the arrow to start the flow. Prune juice is enough to free even the most constipated of people, so once you find some cows, filling up the poo pit should be no problem. Yee-Haa! ```````` As you can see, a target has popped out. Your job is to make the bull hit the target. The bull wants to hit Conker. Have we made the connection yet? Go stand in front of the bullseye. When the cow appears, run over to the new target and wait for the bull to get stuck, then hop on. Take your bull over to the cow and charge. After she's had a drink, she'll have a nasty case of the "screaming squits." I'm pretty sure they censored shit everywhere else, so why let it go here? Hm... Anyway, drive your bull towards her and charge to witness more pointless gore, and another target will appear. Repeat with the next cow (you'll have to hit her twice before she'll drink) and the one after that (three times this time), and you're done. Go back out via the hole or the way you came in. Sewage Sucks ```````````` Swim into the the hole in the wall if you followed the bull and look for a Context Pad whether you did or not. Conker will take some Confidence Pills, which allow him to dive and swim underwater. Or underpoo, as the case may be. Read the instruction manual if you must, then jump into the water and swim back out through the hole in the wall. There's a tail at the end of the beam that you can take, but eventually you'll have to go down. Just for the record, the bull is floating around somewhere in the middle. Find the original entrance to the poo cavern and swim in. At this point, you should be able to grab the cash that was calling you in the beginning, so do that. It's in a little alcove. If you surface and turn around, you can see it. So, get that, then go back out into the pooey mess and swim into the hole on the bottom. You'll end up back in the poo cabin. The beetle is gone, so go outside. Great Balls of Poo `````````````````` As you can see, there is now a ball of poo at your disposal. Oh, joy. Go behind it and start pushing. Take the ball around the poo house and up the ramp beyond it. Push it up as far as you can (watch out for the dung beetles; they hurt) and shove it over the edge. The giant beetle sitting there will chow down and explode, what with the dynamite Conker shoved into the poo and all. It's safe to walk past now. Jump back down and push the next ball of poo past the boarded up entrance sort of thing. Not up the ramp, but up the mountain. Again, keep an eye out for those dung beetles. When you reach the end of the ramp, shove your ball into the cave-like thing at the top to open up the passage at the bottom of the mountain. At the top, you can here a wad of cash calling for you. Do a high jump to take Conker above the hole and jump again to reach the peak of Poo Mountain. Jump back down to the Poo Cabin. Take your third ball of poo around the mountain and to the edge of the cliff. Ignore the "No Pooballs" sign and toss it down, then follow it. Behind the walking ball of poo is a plunger. Hit it and jump into the pool, but be sure to stay out of the center. Swim around the edge and go into the doorway built into the wall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bats Tower ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This doesn't seem like much of a tower from the start, but it's coming. You'll just have to tolerate fire, water, and brass first. You can handle that, can't you? Yep, that's what I thought... Mrs. Catfish ```````````` Upon entering the area, you'll encounter a school (I guess) of blue-blooded catfish. They'll give you 10% of their cash if you can get rid of the Bullfish guarding it. They'll even drop a subtle hint ("He's easily wound up,") before backing off and leaving Conker to do the job. Jump into the water and head out. The first waterfall you pass hides some chocolate and a tail. The rest just conceal solid rock, so you can ignore them. Go past the waterfalls and into the murky green waters of the Bullfish. Ignore him for now and dive down into that hole in the bottom of the pool. Barry's Mate ```````````` Yay, time to torch more bats! Swim forward and up. You should run into an opening. Climb out of the water and go into the next room. Run up that little set of stairs, and you'll be greeted rather rudely by a cigar-smoking cog. Conker will spin him around to his... er... 'more sensitive' side. After a bit of banter, you're free to move around again. Unfortunately, those cogs you're supposed to retrieve are locked beyond the grating you might have noticed as you surfaced. A wooden platform has appeared near the wall, so hop on and ride up. You'll catch a quick view of the bats. Looks like you found the tower you were looking for... Walk around the wooden platform and hop onto the crossbeam. Halfway across, your lightbulb will appear and you'll hear squeaking. Wait a second before you press B if you want to actually *hit* the bat with your blowtorch. Finish crossing the beam. At the end is another platform, from which you can see a dangling rope. Hop on and climb up. You can jump to the next rope if you want to skip the bat- torching, but who wants to do that? Tiptoe across the beam. Repeat this with the next few levels, and eventually you'll reach the top. You'll probably be hearing the pleas of some unloved cash here. Hop onto the platform and head to the right around the top of the tower. You should probably just glide over the lower parts of the wall to avoid any enemies. Grab the cash and hop back down to the little platform with the lever. It's across from the rope you used to get up here. The grate will open and Conker will fall onto the cobwebs below. Cogs' Revenge ````````````` Make your way down the tower and jump back into the water. Go through the open grate and swim through the tunnel. Go up at the end and you'll find yourself in a room with a giggling female cog. Smack her with your frying pan and return to the room with the grumpy/fruity cog. Go up the stairs and put it on the peg for a lovely bit of oral sex comedy, then go back through the underwater tunnel. This time go down the hallway. There are two more cogs hopping around in here, but they're a bit harder to catch. Just run the opposite direction so you meet on the other side and hit them with your frying pan. You can only hold one at once, so you'll have to make two trips here. Take them both back to the cog room and put them on the pegs, then head for the platform in the center of the room. Remember the keg with the prune juice? This is sort of similar. Run around in a clockwise circle to finish off this section by winding in the Bullfish. The Combination ``````````````` Head back to the beginning of the area and talk to the catfish to get them to open the safe. They'll back off so you can go in and get their cash for them. Head into the safe. Blast Doors ``````````` As you enter, the cash will take a flying leap into the water below. The doors will close behind it, leaving you to find a way to open them. Step onto the B pad. Whip out your slingshot and aim for the hole in that spinning wheel. But wait! Don't just aim for ANY letter. Aim for the combination... O-P-E-N. When you've hit them all, the doors will spring open, granting you access to the dark waters below. If you miss too much, one of the metal frog things will bounce out to attack you. If you aim right, you can peg him with before he gets close enough to hurt you. Jump into the water and climb onto that Context Pad to get yourself a light, then dive down into the great unknown. Clang's Lair ```````````` Conker's not a very fast swimmer, so make sure you take the air when you can get it. This area is dotted with air bubbles, so your biggest problem will be finding your way around this place. Swim straight down, and be sure to duck into an alcove should the big metal thing get too close. If you don't, you'll get bitten. Not pleasant. At the end of the hallway, you should see some bright green lights. Take a breath at the bottom, then swim into the bottom one. Resurface once you get out and replace your battery if the urge takes you. Then head for the flashing blue lights. Watch out for the Clang. Head for the surface as soon as you get out. There's a lever here, so grab that before you dive back down. Go for the green lights. Remember to breathe again, then dive down and head for the tunnel surrounded by yellow lights. Swim up and go towards the first air bubble alcove thing you see before continuing. Make your way up the pipe, ducking into an alcove should you get too close to the Clang for comfort. Keep going up until you break the surface, then climb out and jump down the hole in front of you. Run down the pipe... Pisstastic `````````` After that slightly disturbing show, turn around and head for the keg. Take a biiiiiiiig drink, then step out into the main room and zip down your fly... Use Z to take a leak on the nearest demon and keep at it until he turns black. Repeat with the next demon, and so on and so on and so on. If your bladder runs dry, wander over to the first aid box to sober up, then head back to the keg for a refill. When you cut them down, the last two demons will scurry into the boiler-like thing in the middle... Sober up. You'll need to be fast for this. Brass Monkeys ````````````` Right. This is fairly easy compared to other things we've been through, so head for one of the corners. Wait for the boiler to make its way over to the grate- like thing in front of you, then do a high-jump to grab onto a chain and pull. While the boiler is swaying harmlessly in the center, run up and whip out some cinder blocks... Hey, that seemed to help things a bit! Let's do it again. And again. And one more time just for good measure. When the balls fall off, you'll have to push them into place. There's a hole for one of them across from the first aid kit. Push it on to raise the grating that was blocking the door before. Shove the other one into the open passageway to take out the spiky guy, which in turn will make a hole in the wall, granting you access to the safe. Grab the cash. You've earned it. Bullfish's Revenge `````````````````` 10% of $10 wasn't really what you had in mind when you took on this job, eh? Conker will hang onto the lot, and Bullfish will start breaking his chain. Hop back into the water. As you begin to make your way back up the stream, the Bullfish will snap the final wire. Swim. Swim like you've never swum before. When it's all over, hop on top of the Bullfish to reach an alcove which holds a few hundred bucks. A just reward for your struggles. Head back to Windy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Windy Once More ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Head straight for Poo Mountain and go in through the hole at the bottom... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sloprano ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The dung beetle within has a nice story to tell about this place, but as you can see, it's really just a big steaming cavern of poo. Corn Off the Cob ```````````````` Follow the solid path until you hear the voice of God... er... Chucky. He wants corn. You've got a frying pan. Knock 'em dead, slugger. Take a piece of corn to the edge of the little platform sticking out over the poo lake for some nice Jaws action, then move on to the next pit. Watch for falling pooballs. Toss in both pieces of corn here, hang a right at the fork, and throw in all three. He seems to be satisfied now. Sweet Melody ```````````` Possibly the best part of the game... When the Great Mighty Poo finishes singing his first verse, run over to the nearest Context Pad. Dodge the falling poo balls and wait for him to start singing again, then press B to whip out some toilet paper. Take careful aim, then fling it at him while his mouth is open. He'll begin the next verse, but when that's over, repeat the process on a different pad. It takes two hits this time. He's getting pretty mad, as the lyrics and tempo would suggest. Hit him three times from the final pad to just about finish him off. His beautiful singing voice will shatter the glass. U-Bend Blues ```````````` Y'know what? I hate this part. The blades make me sad. I'll handle it in the next update. Check back next year or so. =============================================================================== .:*~*:. < 9. Revision History > .:*~*:. =============================================================================== v1.0 - March 06, 2001 ````````````````````` The very first version. I'd heard a lot of people saying they'd be doing guides for this, so, being paranoid as I am, I rushed out, bought the game, and started the guide as soon as I got home. I regret to say that the entire first version consisted of the Instruction Manual and the very first chapter of the walkthrough. My legal info was probably bigger than the rest of the guide. v2.0 - March 09, 2001 ````````````````````` This time, a bit of work was done on the walkthrough, and also a bunch of weird little errors and typos were fixed. A few readers submitted various codes, most of which were repeats, and these were also added. Not really worthy of an upgrade to 2.0, especially given that the standard numbering system usually doesn't even hit 1.0 until the work in creation has hit its final stage of production. My numbering's whack. Sorry. v3.0 - March 10, 2001 ````````````````````` Another bad number change on my part. The walkthrough for Barn Boys is done, as well as a few other small changes. Nothing really significant. I'm not a very steady or productive worker on most days. Sometimes inspiration strikes, though. v3.2 - July 11, 2002 ```````````````````` It's been awhile. I haven't added much. Bats Tower and part of Sloprano are in, though. Total reformat, too. w00t. =============================================================================== .:*~*:. < 11. Copyright & Contact Info > .:*~*:. =============================================================================== This document is copyright © 2001 Bananagirl (bananasquid@msn.com) This document was written exclusively for use on the internet. It is not intended to be used in any way that is profitable for anyone, including the author. It is not to be reproduced in any way without express written permission from the author. The information found within the document is, to the best of the abilities and knowledge of the author, 100% accurate. However, the possibility exists that inaccurate information may be found within. Any errors (human, computer, or otherwise) should be reported to the author As soon as possible. If you would like to use this document on/in your web site, magazine, or other published work, please contact the author and obtain permission before doing so. Conker, Conker's BFD, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Nintendo 64, Nintendo, and all characters, locations, etc., are trademarks of Rare and/or Nintendo. The author makes no claim to the creation of these. =============================================================================== .:*~*:. < 12. Credits/Thanks > .:*~*:. =============================================================================== Author: Bananagirl (bananasquid@msn.com) Thanks to: A whole lotta people, including (but not limited to)... - Scott Zdankiewicz - Jason Leisure - Thanos Necrosis - Hunter S. Thompson ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- iLfj: K:::jf ;LLfjjW.:::LLGLLf: GDi;;;t#::::;W;;;;E; .ELLLL;tK.:::;KLDfjLt tGEi::::f#t D#f.:::.E, jWK.;jLfLEf; tWiWEKGj;;;;jD: .GD;,,,,,;DEt;;iK .fKi,,,,tKttE.Dt;;Dt .fEt,,,,tDL,fG. .W;;Ki :tGGi,,,;LDf,iEt K;tK tDLi,,;tLDGi,;DL. jLE: iDfjfLft;,;fLj. #:,,,:## __ ) _) | __ \ _` | __ \ _` | __ \ _` | _` | | __| | | | ( | | | ( | | | ( | ( | | | | ____/ \__,_|_| _|\__,_|_| _|\__,_|\__, |_|_| _| |___/ bananasquid@msn.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .:*~*:. < Copyright ©2001-2002 Bananagirl > .:*~*:.